Monday, November 14, 2011
The Curse of Vulnerability
I am terrified of taking a wrong step that will jolt my heart out through my mouth and onto the ground, leaving it there bruised and beating with no protection and no way to prevent being crushed underfoot. Is being vulnerable the riskiest thing I can do? Is exposing your soul to a stranger as frightening for someone that doesn't feel every bump in life and prod from the world like a shock running through the body?
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There's a Buechner quote for that (as there is for pretty much everything): “What we hunger for perhaps more than anything else is to be known in our full humanness, and yet that is often just what we also fear more than anything else. It is important to tell at least from time to time the secret of who we truly and fully are . . . because otherwise we run the risk of losing track of who we truly and fully are and little by little come to accept instead the highly edited version which we put forth in hope that the world will find it more acceptable than the real thing. It is important to tell our secrets too because it makes it easier . . . for other people to tell us a secret or two of their own . . . ”
I agree, vulnerability is terrifying. When it's working right, though, like when you have a friend you can be completely vulnerable with and who can be completely vulnerable with you, it's pretty amazing...definitely too rare an occurrence, though.
That quote is perfect. I think I found this vulnerability to be so refreshing with our group and now I miss it so much.
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